Post by werewolf13 on Jan 5, 2015 13:22:20 GMT -5
It was a cold, freezing cold New Year's day at dawn sitting on the tarmac parked at Ramp (I forget which one) at Wiley Post airport in Oklahoma City. And wet - gawd was it wet. Had a hard night, get it. Wild and randy cowgirls don't mix with Jack Daniels, bad weather and flying the next morning so its understandable - or not - that while sitting on the tarmac waiting for the cargo to be loaded on to my Caravan I totally forgot to call the ground de-icing crew. To add fuel to the fire - my headache (yeah that's the ticket) kept me from thinking about the Caravan's de-icing capability and the switches remained OFF! Damned First Officer should have reminded me but then he was at the same party I was at the night before (its fuzzy but I think we may have shared the same cowgirl at the same time) so I forgive him.
Anyway while the cargo load was proceeding I fired up the FCDU and checked in with dispatch who put us on hold - weather didn't meet minimums. "Screw you dispatch", I thought - "I want out of this freezing cold HELL!" and remade the request to fly. Eventually after 3 or 4 tries the 'tard sitting with his butt locked into a chair in some warm office released us to fly. Got IFR clearance to Springdale, AR (KASG).
The cargo was done loading, we'd gotten our IFR flight plan approved and were OKAY to taxi to 17L.
Which we did - taxi to runway 17L without incident though I vaguely remember seeing something about 35 pounds of ice having built up and being carried around on the plane. The wiseass FO commented about the ice and made some silly comparison with something or other that wasn't even remotely funny so my alcohol fogged brain just blocked him out. Got to the hold point short of the runway and punched 2 notches worth of flaps in. Got the OKAY from the tower to take off. I added a bit of throttle and rolled onto the runway lined up perfectly. Stood on the brakes, hit 50% throttle and watched propeller RPM and engine RPM ramp up. As soon as we started rolling I released the brakes and we were off. I moved the throttle up to 100% and at 80 knots we rotated and were airborne. At 500' AGL I dialed back the flaps a notch. FO may have mentioned something about icing. Not sure. At 1000' AGL and about 2 miles south of Wiley Post we get turned over to OKC departure who turns us left to course 090 and says to climb to 8000. I acknowledge and commence the turn.
Half way thru the turn the FO as cool as a cucumber announces flame out. Uhhhhh.... Whaaaat? Not good. Nearest field is Wiley post which is now 3 miles away. We're in a climb doing 90 knots and no freaking way we're gonna make it back to Wiley. I can see it in the FO's eyes. He's not taking this well at all. But what the hell we're at 1500' so I go into a shallow dive to pick up some speed and try a restart. Nada, nuthin! That engine thumbs its nose at me and just laughs - it ain't gonna restart.
No runway close by but what do I spy - a nice empty two lane road with no cars parked on it - real long and in a suburb where the middle class suburbanites are blissfully sleeping last night off. Runway, I thought. I don' need no stinkin' runway there's a perfectly good street down below.
So I lined 'er up and down we went. I greased it. 50'/sec on the VSI at touch down doing 65kn. Hit the brakes and came to a stop. Heart pounding but we'd made it and the plane was undamaged. Sittin' there thinkin' how lucky we were I heard a tap on the left window, looked over and there was a guy standing next to the plane guzzlin' down a Sam Adams and another in his left hand gesturin with it like he's offerin' it to me. What the hell I think. I pop the latch, hop out the plane and grab the beer. That sucker was cold too but I didn't mind the cold at all. I was on the ground with a beer in my hand, a plane at my side and - wonderin' just how friendly that good lookin' babe standin' at the door of the house the beer bringin' guy was headin' for was gonna be.
Anyway while the cargo load was proceeding I fired up the FCDU and checked in with dispatch who put us on hold - weather didn't meet minimums. "Screw you dispatch", I thought - "I want out of this freezing cold HELL!" and remade the request to fly. Eventually after 3 or 4 tries the 'tard sitting with his butt locked into a chair in some warm office released us to fly. Got IFR clearance to Springdale, AR (KASG).
The cargo was done loading, we'd gotten our IFR flight plan approved and were OKAY to taxi to 17L.
Which we did - taxi to runway 17L without incident though I vaguely remember seeing something about 35 pounds of ice having built up and being carried around on the plane. The wiseass FO commented about the ice and made some silly comparison with something or other that wasn't even remotely funny so my alcohol fogged brain just blocked him out. Got to the hold point short of the runway and punched 2 notches worth of flaps in. Got the OKAY from the tower to take off. I added a bit of throttle and rolled onto the runway lined up perfectly. Stood on the brakes, hit 50% throttle and watched propeller RPM and engine RPM ramp up. As soon as we started rolling I released the brakes and we were off. I moved the throttle up to 100% and at 80 knots we rotated and were airborne. At 500' AGL I dialed back the flaps a notch. FO may have mentioned something about icing. Not sure. At 1000' AGL and about 2 miles south of Wiley Post we get turned over to OKC departure who turns us left to course 090 and says to climb to 8000. I acknowledge and commence the turn.
Half way thru the turn the FO as cool as a cucumber announces flame out. Uhhhhh.... Whaaaat? Not good. Nearest field is Wiley post which is now 3 miles away. We're in a climb doing 90 knots and no freaking way we're gonna make it back to Wiley. I can see it in the FO's eyes. He's not taking this well at all. But what the hell we're at 1500' so I go into a shallow dive to pick up some speed and try a restart. Nada, nuthin! That engine thumbs its nose at me and just laughs - it ain't gonna restart.
No runway close by but what do I spy - a nice empty two lane road with no cars parked on it - real long and in a suburb where the middle class suburbanites are blissfully sleeping last night off. Runway, I thought. I don' need no stinkin' runway there's a perfectly good street down below.
So I lined 'er up and down we went. I greased it. 50'/sec on the VSI at touch down doing 65kn. Hit the brakes and came to a stop. Heart pounding but we'd made it and the plane was undamaged. Sittin' there thinkin' how lucky we were I heard a tap on the left window, looked over and there was a guy standing next to the plane guzzlin' down a Sam Adams and another in his left hand gesturin with it like he's offerin' it to me. What the hell I think. I pop the latch, hop out the plane and grab the beer. That sucker was cold too but I didn't mind the cold at all. I was on the ground with a beer in my hand, a plane at my side and - wonderin' just how friendly that good lookin' babe standin' at the door of the house the beer bringin' guy was headin' for was gonna be.
